I swore I would do better and post more on here but… that was a lie. Maybe not a lie because it wasn’t intentional. But, time got away from me yet again.

A big part of it is because I open the window to write a new blog post and then I sit there and wonder what people even want to hear from me. I mean, there’s a lot going on in that brain of mine.. but I am honestly always a little worried about what other people are going to think about it. To be clear, that isn’t something that only happens online. I spend a lot of my in-person time also editing my speech. So, if we ever hang out and I see like a bitch, I’m actually just cringing on the inside hoping I didn’t say something stupid and that I do not say something stupid.

Funny enough, I started a new Threads account to go with my public IG. (You can find me on both under the username sunlightmoonrising) I figured I should introduce myself and then I just… stalled. I have been thinking about it a lot. When I go to introduce myself, rarely do I even speak my name first. Usually it is spoken in connection with a child. Lots of “hi, nice to meet you I’m such and such’s mom.” Very rarely are any of my introductions Micah based. Which is also fun because when I mention my hobbies, they are also almost always kid centered. Well, kid-centered in an adult way. Babywearing, cloth diapering, homesteading. These are all things that I was drawn to because it made it accessible while I still had little ones. But… my youngest is now two and he decided he was potty trained, so…. now what? I KNOW, I keep asking that. But, this whole finding yourself thing is kind of bullshit. I sucked at it the first time, and I DO NOT want to suck at it this time.

I’ve started new hobbies. I started crocheting and knitting. Which is something I can do while also parenting, as long as I don’t have to count stitches. I got stuff to spin yarn. I have my Cricut. I have my cameras. I am hell bent on finishing my damn degree this time. So, I AM starting. But, at what point will I stop feeling like a brand new baby giraffe with two left feet?

I know that this is a normal part of life. This whole second puberty while I am re-learning all of the parts of me that I had to set down so that I could hold on to the heavy weight of parenting 6 neurodiverse kiddos. But, it being a normal part of life while the country is currently falling apart? Can we not?