I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first child. I gave birth 2 months after my 20th birthday. People warned me then that I’d probably lose my friends from before because my life was set to change. While my friends were out partying, I was changing diapers. Some tried to stay close, others didn’t. But, I was warned, so I was ready.

Do you want to know what I wasn’t ready for?

Coming out of the toddler trenches, looking around & realizing that while now I have free time, I don’t have those same friends. No one warned me about how slowly every day text messages about the things the kids are up to & the lifelines I clung to suddenly became weekly, then only when something important comes up- sometimes not even then. Watching the toddlers I used to know so well turn into pre-teens from a distance. And seeing my friends live new lives. While I am also driving from this activity to that, finding new things just for me & not just the kids.

I’m going to be honest though. I miss having that village. I miss having friends come over for coffee while the kids play. I miss park dates & Farmer’s Market trips. And exploring the city around me.

I had myself convinced that I lacked those things for a while here. Things haven’t been the same since we left California. I had a rich & vibrant community there. And that blinded me to the community that I currently have around me. I was trying to bring that old thing back & fully ignoring what was right in front of me. Some are in-person, some are online. But, all show up for me in so many ways.

Want to know the hardest part of community?

The level of vulnerability needed.

Because, in order to be able to provide help, you have to also be able to accept it. Sometimes it requires you admitting you’re wrong. Sometimes it requires you telling someone you don’t like something. Sometimes it means letting someone see you at your messiest.

But oh my… Is it worth it.

Anyway, I think that’s kind of the point here. I miss connections. So, enjoy following along while I put myself out there & probably make a bunch of mistakes?