I used to wonder if people would notice if I disappeared. And slowly I’m realizing that people… won’t. People come and go, with or without goodbyes, and people don’t seem to notice anymore. Or, maybe we’ve all just been drifting away from each other all along?

All of the people who swear they still love you but can’t take the time to send a message or respond. All of the people who the internet makes you feel close to but you probably wouldn’t even recognize out on the street.

Hyper-individualism has squashed community and I miss being a part of something.

Until I remember that even when I was apart of something… no one noticed when I pulled away because it was so much to carry everything.. No one cared to respond to messages or reach out. And those were all of the people who swore they were there for me. But I wonder if it was just so I could be there for them when they needed it.

Starting fresh is hard when those wounds are still so glaringly open.

It’s hard watching people you thought would be there forever through a screen. Life moments that you would have happily been there through- good or bad- and you just aren’t.

Holding space for ghosts.

Holding space for who I was.

Holding space for you to come back.

But, why I am stuck waiting while everyone moves past me?